Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Provo and the Blue House

Blue House

As you may or may not know the Nitsy crew is seriously contemplating a move to Provo once Nick graduates this spring. The reasons for the move are many, but I would say the main four are

  1. Money - The cost of living is MUCH LOWER in Utah than here in California. I will be able to keep my current job (and current salary) making a home purchase possible (see my current pick above). If we continued on in California (with or without a move to LA) we would not be able to buy for a few more years at least. Our total house payment will be lower than our current rent by a few hundred dollars at least. We'll actually be saving money.
  2. Family - In Provo we would be close to Karl and Allie and their Caucasian female baby. Allie has offered to help us with wonder-twin care (an offer that I'm sure she'll withdraw soon after the first time she tends them - especially when she'll have her own newborn...). Regardless, I want Judah and Asher to grow up with their cousins. Boopie and the Professor live a short drive up the freeway in SLC. We'll be within a reasonable distance of Zach, Danielle and Ethan too (in Rexburg). Plus we're halving the distance to Malia and Caitlin. Not bad. I'm sure we'll miss Gma and Gpa Hite and Gma Neal, but they will visit. Plus, we'll hopefully have a guest room for the many many visitors we'll host.
  3. Lifestyle - We want to have a healthy and happy life. Where we're at now it's hard to do that. Going up and down the stairs keeps me from taking the kids outside much. We don't have a yard for the to play in, or a park nearby. We don't have a lot of friends, so we don't do a lot of funtivities. Nick doesn't like to "do stuff" as much as I do, so it will be fun to tag along with other friends on fun outings while Nick sits in a corner by himself (his version of a good time). Plus Allie has agreed to help me with my diet and exercise goals.
  4. Opportunity - There is plenty of opportunity for Nick up in Utah. Maybe he'll land a job with the Church's film studio, or a teaching gig at BYU or UVU, or maybe something up at Sundance. There's also a pretty active indie film scene up in Utah. Plus there is always contract work for productions that shoot up there, both made for TV stuff like High School Musical, and feature films like 127 Hours.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Mother Judger?

I was reading an essay on motherhood by a cute-as-can-be 22 year old mother of twin boys that are close in age to my little guys. The essay is about the love a mother feels for her children, and also about judging other mothers. Perhaps I have been exceptionally blessed, or at the very least exceptionally naive and/or blind to the thoughts and/or words and/or actions of others, but I have yet to feel judged for my choices as a mother.

Here are some facts that might garner some negative feedback:
  • Fact: I waited until age 30 to have kids
  • Fact: I gave birth via c-section without even TRYING for a vaginal delivery
  • Fact: I only breastfed my kids for 6 weeks
  • Fact: I work full time to support my family
  • Fact: I only took 6 weeks of maternity leave (when I could have taken 14 weeks)
  • Fact: I don't always lock my door
  • Fact: I let my kids lick rocks
  • Fact: I pay someone to clean my house rather than do it myself
  • Fact: Baby bedtime is often my favorite time of the day
  • Fact: My kids are probably cuter than your kids
  • Fact: Even though I can't love my kids with all of my time, I still manage to love them with all of my heart.
I worry that I haven't faced the working mom prejudice here in California that I might face in Utah. The author of the essay I mentioned above lives in Provo, the city that we hope to inhabit in just a few short months. But here's the thing; I don't want to live in a city of judgy mcjudgersons. Is everyone really all up in each other's grills about various life choices? Or is that young mom just making judgements based on a shorter journey in this big crazy world? I think I might have made similar judgements with a decade less experience.

So tell me, is Provo Judgement City, USA? Or can this remarried old working mom of twins catch a judgement-free break?