About once a week Facebook shows itself as a mystical place where astonishing and bizarre things happen.
Exhibit A My former fiance from 7 YEARS AGO and I had a delightful chat last night. We haven't been in contact in about a billion years, so it was interesting and odd and kind of great to hear from him. I'm glad that we'll have an easy rapport should we ever meet in a social setting, which is likely considering the cross-over in our friend pools.
So, that was quick. This week started out with two suitors in contention for my affections, and it is heading into the weekend with none. Crushes come and go pretty quickly around the Shady Lady Hideaway. It likely has something to do with the fact that I think it's ridiculous to waste time hiding how I feel about men. I know there's a place for seduction and a chase in relationships, and I am not inept at flirting. However, generally speaking, I have a no-nonsense approach to dating. If I like a man, I will tell him so. It's true that this approach leaves one emotionally exposed and open to all kinds of rejection. But I figure that I'd rather have the rejection happen NOW than weeks or months down the road. Sometimes I'm the one doing the rejecting, and sometimes I'm the one getting rejected. Either way is just fine. When the rejection happens early on, they aren't really rejecting me, they're rejecting the idea of me, which may or may not coincide with the actual me. This distinction may only exist in my mind, but it's an important one. Anyway, so long as the guys seem to be attracted to me like moths to a flame, I don't think there's cause to change my approach.
In other news, I still kind of have a crush on that one guy. You know the one.
I have recently started attending a singles ward for church. It's been fun and funny. My Bishop is a funny and genuinely delightful man. He has been troubled lately by the lack of proper dating between the members of the ward, so he adopted a plan that he has seen work in other singles congregations in the past. Each ward member filled out a slip of paper with his or her name at the top followed by a list of 5 people they would like to go out with. Once the lists are in, the process of comparing and contrasting can commence. If there is any cross-over in lists (you have written the name of someone that wrote your name as well) Bishop would contact the dude to inform him that he should ask that specific girl out on a proper date. Matchmaking at its finest.
My list was simple as I'm new and still trying to diversify my dating portfolio. I listed three men that I had hung out with in a group setting, one man that I talked with briefly that I find attractive, and one man that had spoken in Sacrament Meeting that day that I found both attractive and well spoken (important qualities in any sort of friend.) So far I know that I had one instance of cross-over (see previous post). We'll see if I get any dates out of the deal.
I'm in a bit of a pickle, kids. This week I have been hanging out with these two dudes, and we all have been having a really fun time together. I really like hanging out with men. They are less petty, more relaxed and typically easier to read than women. Plus, if there's a chance for some action, that is also preferred. Just sayin. Anyway, here's the thing - I can't tell which one of my new buddies (if either) likes me. I mean like likes me. I'm usually pretty intuitive about these things, but in this case I can see signs of interest in both of these dudes. They are pretty close, so I don't think that either would stand in the way of the other's possible happiness with me, so I just don't get it. Perhaps they are just trying to see who I like before proceeding. If so, best of luck to them. I'm a tad on the boy crazy side as of late, so I'd date either. But I won't lie - there is one that I'd be a little quicker to say yes to. There's really something to be said for mystery. And dreaminess. And classically good looks. And being able to build a house by hand from the ground up. And laser tag proficiency.
In addition to the above, I have a couple other possibilities on deck. One Jane Austen lover (say it with me: HOT.) Plus I was asked out via facebook chat by another acquaintance yesterday. Interesting.
At first, I was the clear winner. I moved in to my own awesomely furnished place, maintained my good job, and maintained proper grooming habits. Plus, everyone (including his family) "sided" with me. And I was happy. Really happy. Finally, and for the first time in years. He was a messed up, horrible horrible wreck that had to move in to his parent's house when he realized he couldn't afford the lifestyle to which he had become accustomed without me footing the bill.
Nine months later...
Oh, man. He has moved on in a big way. He has resumed showering. And wearing pants. And shoes. And brushing the teeth. He has a new place, a "new" girl (GIRL) with a rockin bod, and seems happy. I know, right?!
Me? I'm 40 pounds overweight, at the same job, same place, same same same. Sigh. Class has its place, for sure, but I'm about ready to be a classless hussy. I want to do something crazy and interesting and spirited. A small percent of me wants to show him up and make him regret it all. But mostly I'm just ready to get back to being me.
As a teen my siblings and I would come up with code "operation" names for the people that we were currently crushing on. Who could forget Operation: Rio Salsa, Operation: Huff n Puff, or my favorite, Operation: Fill 'er Up!? In my current incarnation as a single person I have had a few active operations including the ill-fated Operation: Red Dragon, the revisitation of Operation: TP Salsa, as well as the dead-on-arrival Operation: Taco Bell. I hit pause on Operation: J2.0 when he moved out of state. I diverted myself with the internet thing for a while, but it was a dead end. So I began looking around closer to home. Enter Operation: Place Holder.
I have been going out on dates with Operation: Place Holder for the past few weeks. I realized practically from the beginning that it was going nowhere fast. Let's face it; I was never super attracted to this guy on any level, but I thought I would give him a shot. What did I have to lose, right? The dude was intoxicated by my free spirited ways, and I will admit that I was loving the attention he heaped on. For about two days. Then I was like -- hey, ease up bro. I wanted to keep things casual, while he showed signs of wanting to lock this down (and really, who could blame him?) One friend pointed out that I was way out of his league. Another mentioned that I was probably just rebounding. Possible, I guess. Historically speaking, I don't do rebounds, that is, unless I'm using the classic "Want to get involved in a really unhealthy rebound relationship?" pick-up line. Anyway, whatever the motives for dating Operation: Place Holder were, they are no more. I mercifully cut him loose last night before he had the chance to get even more attached. As much as I love free meals, I don't relish the idea of breaking hearts. And as his operation name states, he was really nothing more than a place holder for me.