Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Remembering Scottie

Betsy and Scott  at BUHS graduation 1997

April 2008

Hi Scott,

I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately, and I have one question for you; what is the statute of limitations on apologies? Because I owe you one that is seriously overdue - by about 6 years.

This incident may have gone down in worst-date-ever history. It is so bad that I believe it may have achieved legendary status by now, and is being retold as a truly scary story by scouts at camp-outs across the US. So remember when we went to see that Star Wars movie on your birthday in 2002? And remember when I ran out of the theater to take a call leaving you solo for half an hour? And remember how I insensitively told you about the guy I wanted to date on the ride home? Yeah - um, so sorry about that. I am retroactively embarrassed 6 years later. Yes, I am the worst date ever. 

My marriage may not have been the best, but good did come out of it - for example, I have learned a lot of humility, a sense of propriety and tact...[edit] that were sorely lacking on the night in question, and humility to be able to admit my failing (even if it is 6 years too late) and beg your forgiveness. I really am embarrassed of the way I acted.

[edit] yadda yadda yadda ... divorce, work, church, school...

Anyway, I'm babbling. I just really felt like I owed you an apology and wanted to say hi. I know you're in a war right now, which blows my mind and makes me want to sob uncontrollably if I think about it too much. Just know that I am one of many that is so proud of you, and feels overwhelmed and blessed that there are people like you that are willing to put your life on the line so I can live the life I choose. Thanks for that. You're in my prayers.



I had not heard of your divorce and I am sorry that your relationship did not work out the way you wanted.

Otherwise sounds like you are doing well. I'm glad to hear you enjoy being a primary chorister. I have always found that being a primary teacher is the best form of birth control. However, they did provide me with many stories.

Anyways, I lead a pretty simple life right now. The part of Iraq I'm in doesn't look too diferent from home, except it did snow here this winter.

I hope everything works out for you,


[Editor's note: Scott clearly had no interest in dating me at that time, and possibly ever.]

July 2008

Something made me think of you the other day, and I realized that I had never replied to your email. Better late than never, right? Anyway, I hope things are well with you. Err... as well as they can be, as you're in a war situation (still mind-boggling, btw). I'm pretty amazing, typical Betsy. Work is work. School is school. Church is church. I'm back with the Young Women in my new ward, so that has been fun. My "dating life" pretty much resembles an episode of Melrose Place, so the drama has kept my life interesting. I never thought I would be in this position again, but since I am, I am enjoying myself, and having a laugh at the expense of the "interesting" guys that have managed to remain unattached into their upper 20's/lower 30's. Absolutely hilarious, and very diverting.

Anyway, just wanted to send a quick note to say hi.



Glad to hear that you are doing well. I was always trying to find the Melrose Place's. The closest I came was Atlanta, but I was lucky to make it up there once a month. I do love that city.

Have fun with the young women, they should keep you busy. And enjoy the Melrose Place atmoshpere, it's always fun to be there.


The above emails were the last contact I had with Capt. Scott Pace. He was killed in action in Afghanistan while serving in the US Army on June 6, 2012. It's difficult to find the words to honor his life and his service. We spent our youth together in high school and at BYU. We participated in lots of activities together, exchanged a lot of emails over the years, and even went on a few dates. Many many embarrassing journal entries from high school through college and even into my second single-hood attest to the fact that I was at times about 95% sure that we would eventually marry (even though we never even so much as held hands). He was a great friend that will be missed by all who had the honor of knowing him.
The words of a hymn "Each Life That Touches Ours for Good" best express my feelings about Scott's passing. He really was a Christlike friend that strengthened my faith and enriched my days. I know that we will embrace as friends in the Eternities.

Each life that touches ours for good
Reflects thine own great mercy, Lord;
Thou sendest blessings from above
Thru words and deeds of those who love.

What greater gift dost thou bestow,
What greater goodness can we know
Than Christlike friends, whose gentle ways
Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.

When such a friend from us departs,
We hold forever in our hearts
A sweet and hallowed memory,
Bringing us nearer, Lord, to thee.

For worthy friends whose lives proclaim
Devotion to the Savior’s name,
Who bless our days with peace and love,
We praise thy goodness, Lord, above.

Text: Karen Lynn Davidson, b. 1943. © 1985 IRI
Music: A. Laurence Lyon, b. 1934. © 1985 IRI

1 comment:

Brynn said...

Your comment about being 95% sure that you were going to marry Scott cracked me up, because I'm pretty sure I thought the same thing at some point or another during high school. He was that kind of guy, but yeah, I don't think we realized that there were more guys out there than just lived in Brawley. I've been sad a lot, too, over all of this, and I was sad I couldn't make it home for the funeral. Thanks for sharing.